When I, Jason, was a kid, I used to struggle with extreme guilt. Like at elementary school, if I left the fountain and it was still running I would only make half way back to class, and my guilt for leaving it running would be bad enough to send me walking all the way back to turn it off. Or, at the end of class, I would tell on myself for talking as this would ease my guilt some for getting away with it.
Sometime in my childhood, a woman approached my mom at church with a word for her son (me). This word was basically that I was struggling with guilt and that as I worshipped, my guilt would go away. And it was true! All my life I have been aware that when I start feeling overwhelmed and guilty, this is an indication that I have not been spending time worshipping.
When I worship, I have a renewed Kingdom perspective, and within that perspective, there is no room for guilt. In the last few years I have almost felt guilty for the quick fix that this method seems to bring. "Oh I feel a little guilty-better worship a little".
I have recently started asking God why this has been a truth in my life, but have been unable to come up with a correlation between worship and guilt, until last night. I have been learning a lot about grace lately and realized the direct correlation between fixing my eyes on Jesus in worship and having guilt and condemnation lifted off me.
HE is the embodiment of grace. The passage, "Therefore there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" suddenly is making sense.
So over the years, as I have looked to Jesus, my guilt, condemnation, and anxiety in life have lifted off me. These feeling have always been closely related to my lack of time with Jesus. When I am with Him often enough, they are none existent. But when I neglect my relationship with Jesus, my perspective shifts. Looking back at my big question, I kind of think, "Wow I am pretty thick not to see the connection"! I guess that is the way it is, thankful to see it now!
2 comments:
Wow, Jason. I would love to talk to you more about this when I see you soon. I also struggle with huge guilt issues - it is actually what Barb and I spent a lot of time praying about last week.
P.S. Happy birthday to you and Hannah!
Hi Jason,
I read yesterday in Ruth Graham's book "Prodigals and Those Who Love Them" that worry and worship cannot exist in the heart at the same time - they are mutually exclusive. Bless you as you contintue to experience His Kingdom hear on Earth.
Praying for you and your family,
Jo-Anne
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